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By Deb Balzer

@balzertalk

The view from the balcony: Two older lesbians cruise Alaska

August 12, 2026

It’s taken 50 years of working to get to this article. I retired. At age 64. My first Social Security withholding shows I made $284 in 1976. I think I was delivering newspapers on my beat-up bike. I’ve done a little better since then and decided to reward myself, and my wife and partner of 26 years, with a cruise to Alaska. We invited my sister and her husband.

I have discovered I have reached the age where strangers look through me instead of at me. Unless I'm holding my wife’s hand, or calling out to her from across the room. Or sharing a king-sized bed in our stateroom cabin with a balcony.

I’m also 5’2” though I’d never know it unless I’m surrounded by 3,600 other travelers on an Alaskan cruise.

We are lucky. Two of our favorite gay men are well-traveled and introduced us to the world of cruising back when I was about to turn 50. I felt 35. We traveled with 1700 gay men and were two of about 20 women aboard the Nieu Amsterdam for a whirlwind Mediterranean cruise. That’s another story, but one that set our expectations pretty high. These two gentlemen have sailed the Royal Princess and gave great tips. It’s nice to have boyfriends.

Heading to Seattle

We flew from the Twin Cities to Seattle, where we met our traveling companions. We shared a Jack-and-Jill room downtown, wandered Pike Place Market, had a meal and a cocktail, and prepared to board at noon the following day.

Set to sail

We headed to the buffet while we waited for our luggage. It was fine. But what finer was the view. Water. Mountains. Blue skies.

Our balcony room, A622, was on the 12th floor - conveniently directly across the hall from the laundry. We’ll get back there. The room was spacious, the thick white duvet deliriously comfortable. But the view was the reason we took this trip: two chairs, a little table, mountains, water, sky.

Ports of interest

Juneau - Off ship, took a tour of a mine and panned for gold, ate the most expensive crab leg ever at Tracy’s. Didn’t see anyone who looked like us. (Did I mention I’m 5’2” and my wife is 5’11”?)

Skagway - Off ship, took a small bus tour to the Klondike summit, bordering Canada. Our tour guide, Tibitha, was a purple-haired thirty-something and we hugged. She acknowledged us. It was one of our favorite excursions.

Glacier Bay National Park - Ship day. The day my wife, Barbara, and I most enjoyed together: on the balcony, with duvets on our laps, binoculars in hand, a sense of serenity.

I noticed what I thought were lots of little dark logs floating by until I realized, with the help of my binoculars, that these were actually sea otters swimming on their backs. Dozens of them. Some with babies on their bellies. That was amazing. As were the eagles on the icebergs. We witnessed a “calving” on the Margerie Glacier. That’s when a large chunk of ice breaks off the face of a glacier and crashes into the water. It was a breathtaking moment.

Ketchikan - Off ship. This is the salmon capital. And it was perhaps the hardest stop for me. Thousands of people crammed on narrow streets, all vying for views of the seals and sea otters in the water. We did see some Pride flags displayed in various shops about town, and while that was thrilling, I thought I was going to be beaten up by a fellow on a bridge. I’m short, it was raining, and we were all trying to see the sea creatures along Creek Street. I tried to wedge myself, sideways, between two very tall, large men who had their elbows spread out. The more I tried, the harder they pushed into me. This wasn’t a mosh pit at First Avenue, though it sure felt like it.

“Hey, I’m standing sideways; can we share here? Maybe be GOOD AMERICANS?

This is when I thought I was going to get punched. He swung around ready to go. “Don’t even start,” he yelled.

The rain pushed down hard on my face and glasses, and I walked away.

“Sure, leave NOW,” he followed.

My little sister shows up, says something to him, and we move along.

This is when I realized: I’m old. I’m short. I’m not considered. I find my wife.

I liked this stop the least. Not because it wasn’t beautiful or welcoming, but because the wet, cold crowds seemed to slosh through the streets, umbrellas in hand, seeing everything and noticing nothing.

Victoria, Canada - We stayed aboard, sipped Prosecco from my sister’s mini-suite and watched the pier below. I quietly apologized to my brother’s and sister’s in Canada for the cruelty of our current administration.

Aboard the Princess

The nod. I was an active participant, offering my own nod of acknowledgment though I never did make true contact. My gaydar went off often, offering the silent nod of recognition to other older dykes aboard. We saw older gentlemen dining together in matching outfits, perfectly coiffed, and smiled.

Was it hard to be an older lesbian aboard a cruise ship that was a little this and a lot of that? From couples in their 80s to families with kids and then us. Not really. We nodded and smiled and treated each other with warmth. After 26 years together, Barbara and I still know how to find each other.

Would we do this again? Sure. Would we rather have a ship full of queers? Sure. What mattered most was we felt safe and welcomed by the staff and our steward.

Maybe getting older means fewer people notice you. But the people who do notice you recognize exactly who you are.

BalzerTalk – What’s Next with Deb

July 29, 2026

After a career spanning television news, marketing, public relations, and medical communications, Deb Balzer is embracing her next chapter with curiosity, enthusiasm, and a sense of adventure.

A longtime supporter of SCENE, Deb came out as a teenager in 1978 in a small town in western New York. She spent 25 years in the Twin Cities before making Northfield, Minnesota, home, where she lives with her wife and their dog. In 2020, she helped co-found Northfield’s first Pride in the Park.

A traveler, music lover, food fanatic, and Minnesotan by choice, Deb shares queer-friendly happenings, hidden gems, great eats, memorable adventures, and the fun of figuring out what’s next around the Twin Cities and beyond. What’s on your list?

Follow Deb on social media @BalzerTalk.